I was born into a Christian home. My parents had my sisters and me in church every Sunday and Wednesday. I went through the motions of salvation and baptism when I was 7 years old. I was a good child and fairly good teenager. I wanted more than anything to make my parents proud of me and to never do anything that would bring them shame. At age 22 I was newly divorced and had two small sons. I felt an emptiness in my heart and felt as though I had never truly accepted Jesus into my heart. I was assured by a Christian church member that you don’t tell everyone who knows you that you have been “faking the Christian life.” This person had never led me wrong before so I felt she was right and I did not follow through. 

For the next twelve years I attempted to do everything my Mom had taught me to be a good mother, good church member and a good citizen. One day I was in my home church, my pastor was preaching on the life long church member who thought they were a christian because they went thru the motion of salvation and did everything that christians are expected to do. I felt that tug again that I had felt when I was 22. I was so shaken by this that I did not attend church the next Sunday, but being the “good” mother that I knew I was suppose to be my sons and I watched church service on television. I don’t even know who was delivering the message, I just know his sermon was on the “lifelong church member” who really had never been saved. Once again, I was shaken by this. I determined in my heart that if I attended one more sermon on this topic that God had sustained me to this point in order that I might be saved. I realized, also, that I had not been a good child, teenager, adult or Mother because I had accepted Jesus into my heart, but to gain the approval of my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and church leaders. The next Sunday we had a guest minister, just out of seminary and I felt he was not mature enough to preach on a subject like “the lifelong church member”. I was wrong, his entire sermon was on “lifelong church members” who thought they were christians, but had never accepted Jesus Christ into their heart. That day at age 34 I accepted Christ into my heart and followed in baptism.

I know Jesus Christ lives in my heart today, not because of any good I did, but because I know He is the one and true Son of God and that He gave His life on Calvary, that He was buried and rose the third day so that I will have eternal life.