I was born into a strong Christian family. My parents were Christian school teachers and also leaders in the church. Not remembering the whole true experience of kneeling by my parents bed when I was 5, I really began having doubts about my salvation experience. The doubt really began to set in around age 10. I began to really question my mom about my experience as a young child. The feeling of doubt didn’t go away and a feeling of emptiness began to really set in. A few months later, I asked my mom again about my experience of accepting Jesus at her bedside. She sat down and went through scriptures to help give me assurance. The assurance only lasted a short while before the doubts came back. For several years I tried to avoid the issue totally, but the doubt grew stronger and I felt like I was carrying around a huge weight. I began to have very low self-esteem and felt no purpose for anything. Suicidal thoughts had even set in. At age 12, my Grandmother whom I was close to  nearly died. This had an impact on my life. I would love to say that I now invited Jesus into my life, but I didn’t. I continued to live in darkness and felt no purpose.