The summer that I turned 12 was one of the worst. By then, my dad had returned home for a few months but was still drinking heavily. Our car had been repossessed and we were living in a rented, run-down mobile home in Charlotte, N.C. My parents discovered that my mom was pregnant. Dad was not happy.  On August 3rd, he came home and with slurred, drunken speech, announced that he wasn’t going to have another baby. He stated that he was going to take my mother into the bedroom and kill her. He began beating her and throwing her around the small trailer’s living room. When she was on the floor, he kicked her so forcefully that each kick thrust her body forward on the floor and then into the narrow hallway leading to the bedroom at the end of the hall. Afraid, I ran to my bedroom and grabbed a .410 gauge shotgun, a gift from the previous Christmas since I loved to hunt.  As my dad passed the doorway, I told him to stop. Mom was still crumpled in the floor. Dad was holding her wrists, still kicking her with each step.  I was in the corner of the room with the gun pointed at my dad. He dropped my mother’s wrists and walked toward me. The next thing I remember is seeing smoke roll from the end of the barrel of the gun, blood splatter everywhere, my dad grab his face and then fall forward on my feet.  I ran from the room. In minutes many neighbors, the police, an ambulance and TV crews arrived.

My mom and I were taken to the Juvenile Division of the Mecklenburg County (Charlotte) Police Department. We sat in a room with two detectives for hours telling of past events with my dad and everything that led up to the incident that day. I was then asked to sign a statement saying that I understood that I was being charged with 1^st degree murder. Until that moment I didn’t realize that my dad was dead. That night I was released into my mom’s custody.

A couple of weeks later I returned and was introduced to a man named Rick Hulse. He asked about every detail of the day that dad died. I answered every question. After the meeting I was told that he was the prosecuting attorney and that he had determined that my actions were in self defense. He decided not to try the case in court and would drop the charge against me. It was a huge relief to hear the news, but this was the point where my life began to spiral out of control. Within months I had become an extremely rebellious teen. I began smoking and dabbling into drugs. My friends encouraged all the wrong things and I was headed in a deadly direction.

By the time I was 16, we had moved to Concord, N.C.  The Youth Pastor from a local church began to visit me. He became like a big brother. One day he asked me to come to camp with the church youth group. This event changed my life. On the second night at camp, I responded to an altar call to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. I felt I had nothing to offer. I was a rebellious, hard-headed 16 year old who had quit school in the 10^th grade. I remember the minister saying that God had a plan for my life - but how could He? I was a mess.

As the week at camp wore on, I felt the call of God very strongly on my life. I told God that I was His and that if He wanted to use me, do it. Through a series of what I know to be God’s amazing hand at work, I finished high school, then applied and was accepted at a Bible College. While I was in college, my youth pastor took a position as pastor at a church in Macon, Georgia. He asked me to come work with him. While there, I learned from him and his wife what a Godly marriage is and how a man should love and treat his bride. 

Jumping forward to now, I know that God has been so faithful to me. He has allowed me to build and manage a network of Christian radio stations throughout the southeast. I have been married to a wonderful, Godly woman for nearly 25 years. We serve in ministry together. We have one child, Kellan. He is a junior at a Christian university.   For the last five years He has allowed me to serve as one of the staff ministers at First Baptist North Spartanburg.

 While I know that God has brought me a long way, I know that I am nothing without Him. I am so blessed and undeserving of the goodness that He has shown me.

I remember sometimes the drama being unbearable. One day I met this girl. I helped her study for a test or something. She was a Christian and we became friends. She was so different from other people I called my friend. She talked to me and answered my questions about what following Jesus meant. She took me to her church. Sometimes I was defensive but still, I asked questions. One night on the phone, I just felt it. I knew then that I had never accepted God’s gift of grace. I had never truly asked forgiveness of my sins. I knew that I needed to stop what I was doing and ask, “‘Jesus, please forgive me; I know you’re there. I know what you want me to do. I know you died and for me. I want to follow you and have you in my heart.” It was simple, but I knew that night that I HAD to do it. There was no delaying it any longer. I don’t even know if we were talking about God or not that night.

That night changed my life. When I stopped praying, I told my friend immediately and I’d never before felt such pure love come into my heart. It’s like God was hugging me from the inside (that’s honestly the only way I could describe that feeling). Fastforwarding, I was in church and then got out again eventually but then in college, I came back to church. Among other things, I realized more fully and began living out the fact that I have a purpose and a direction in Christ. Life now? Not perfect but satisfied with the fact that when I lack, HE IS. When I am out of compassion and love or anxious or angry, HE IS. Being able to live in and rest in that truth has been liberating.

While I was in college my mother was diagnosed with cancer. At first I was in denial, but as the reality started to set in for me, I became very angry and upset. On the other hand, my mother was always optimistic and showed a supernatural strength that I did not understand. Through her sickness, we started going to church. As I started watching my mother and seeing her strength, I began to understand where that strength was coming from. My mother had given complete control of her life over to Jesus. After making this realization, I began to realize that the only thing that could give me that strength and fill the void in my life was Jesus Christ. So, one Sunday morning in 1995, I gave my life completely to Jesus Christ and made Him Lord and Savior of my life.

By inviting Jesus into my life I was given a strength like no other. I can tell you that when my mother passed away in 1996, I don’t know how I could have made it through if not by the power of Christ. Jesus has given me more self confidence because I know that Jesus created me and He doesn’t make mistakes. I understand that everything that I am given is a gift. He has given me a beautiful, loving wife and 2 beautiful children. The gifts that He has given me are far greater than anything that the world can give. My priorities are far different than they used to be. My personal relationship with Christ and my family are the top priorities in my life. I can’t imagine how I would get through life without Christ in my heart.

In June 2001, I was devastated when I almost lost my son and found out my husband had advanced prostate cancer. Just weeks before this, Terry, one of my employees, had brought his Bible to work and read scripture to me. He told me that Jesus would come back and ‘rapture’ all believers and he thought it would happen in his lifetime. He told me that Jesus was God in the flesh. Because of my ignorance of the Bible, I could not understand. Terry encouraged me to get a Billy Graham book. I read ‘Peace With God’ and my eyes were opened to new truths about who God really was, my purpose in life, and how to know for sure I would go to heaven when I died. When I compared myself to a holy and righteous God, for the first time I saw myself as a filthy sinner. For the first time I believed and understood that Jesus came to earth and died on the cross to forgive MY sins. I believed that Jesus rose from the dead 3 days later and He defeated death — and He is alive today. I humbled myself and confessed I no longer wanted to be in control of my life. I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. This was July 20, 2001! I was 50 years old and had been out of church for 30 years!

My husband and I started going to church, and I made a public confession of my faith at Restoration church and was baptized AGAIN. I joined a women’s Bible study that my next door neighbor, Olive Fuller, taught. The Fullers invited us to Sunday school. We fell in love with the class and church and joined First North in January 2002. God made a complete turn-around in my life and I finally had ‘peace with God.’ I was filled with God’s love. I now have a burden to share my story with others. I love to go to church every week and I have a strong desire to seek God in His Word.  I face life and circumstances with the help and power of the Almighty Creator by talking with Him through prayer. I still sin, but when the Holy Spirit convicts me of my sin, I ask for forgiveness so that my sin will not separate me from God. I thank God for Terry who had the courage to share his faith with me at work. A year ago I resigned my position at work, but I was able to share my story with MY manager on my exit interview. Mission completed. My God has other eternal plans for my life and I am so excited! To God be the glory. AMEN!