Amanda Johnson
Like many others, I, too, am a child of divorce. My father was an alcoholic who abused my mother. My father finally drank too much one night and ran off the road, dying upon impact with a pole. Years later my mother remarried, and I found myself among this whole other family and I didn’t fit in there. I would go to vacation bible school with them, though, and that with occasional visits to church was my experience. I prayed once with a preacher, mostly agreeing but not understanding what it all really meant. Life went on as usual til 7th grade and things got worse in my life. I made good grades but worse in a different way. Life was chaotic in most every other way and sometimes my parents got into arguments. I struggled a lot then with who I was and who I was supposed to be. I remember crying a lot. I had friends who really weren’t friends…
I remember sometimes the drama being unbearable. One day I met this girl. I helped her study for a test or something. She was a Christian and we became friends. She was so different from other people I called my friend. She talked to me and answered my questions about what following Jesus meant. She took me to her church. Sometimes I was defensive but still, I asked questions. One night on the phone, I just felt it. I knew then that I had never accepted God’s gift of grace. I had never truly asked forgiveness of my sins. I knew that I needed to stop what I was doing and ask, “‘Jesus, please forgive me; I know you’re there. I know what you want me to do. I know you died and for me. I want to follow you and have you in my heart.” It was simple, but I knew that night that I HAD to do it. There was no delaying it any longer. I don’t even know if we were talking about God or not that night.
That night changed my life. When I stopped praying, I told my friend immediately and I’d never before felt such pure love come into my heart. It’s like God was hugging me from the inside (that’s honestly the only way I could describe that feeling). Fastforwarding, I was in church and then got out again eventually but then in college, I came back to church. Among other things, I realized more fully and began living out the fact that I have a purpose and a direction in Christ. Life now? Not perfect but satisfied with the fact that when I lack, HE IS. When I am out of compassion and love or anxious or angry, HE IS. Being able to live in and rest in that truth has been liberating.
Posted in Divorce Impacted my Life, Someone Else's Life Impacted Mine ,
