My life without Christ became a disaster. At the age of 13 I experienced an overwhelming power in church one Sunday to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. Prior to that I don’t remember too much. I was brought up in a Christian home. I never experienced any child abuse and never witnessed any drug or alcohol abuse in my family. I do remember feeling very fortunate in having good parents.
Then at the age of 28 I accepted Jesus Christ again because I wanted to be certain. I was married and had 2 children, and my husband and I both felt very strongly about being baptised for a 2nd time. The feeling was so much stronger than when I was 13. My husband became a deacon, and we were very active in the church. I sang in the choir, we were both Sunday School teachers, worked in Bible School, etc. My life later took a turn for the worse after I lost my father to cancer.I became angry with God for not healing him. I would go to church and would have to leave because I couldn’t quit crying. Finally I quit trying to go, and my husband didn’t go because I didn’t, so we ended up in a divorce that should of never taken place after being married 25 years.
Today I am still struggling to get back what I lost. I married an alcoholic who was very abusive, and who beat my self-esteem down very low. But that same alcoholic became saved 5 years before his death, and he showed me the true meaning of what it was like to be a true living Christian. People looked up to him, and they would say ” I want what he has.” I know without a doubt that if we don’t have Jesus Christ in our lives, and truly live our lives for him we can never truly be happy or have peace in our lives.
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I was a very selfish person. I didn’t care much about anyone else, and I certainly didn’t think I needed anyone else in this life. It was all about me! I went to church, but it was always a matter of what church could do for me. I wanted to participate in the activities, look good in the community, recieve acclaim for my vast knowledge of the bible. I spent most services doodling, flipping through magazines or scribbling notes to my friends. However, one Easter Sunday morning was different. I didn’t know what it was at the time that made me look up from my drawing, but now I know that the Holy Spirit was drawing me toward God.
I heard the preacher say that we could have eternal life, but only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. All of a sudden I realized that this wasn’t something I could do myself. I needed help. I needed a Savior. Right there in the pew I bowed my head and prayed along with the preacher. I told God that I knew I had done things that He hadn’t wanted me to do; that I had believed that I could live this life by myself. Now I knew that wasn’t true, and I wanted to give my life to Him, let Him have control and let Jesus live in me.
Immediately, I could physically feel a difference within myself. However, that difference is still being played out in my life today. Before this time, I hadn’t experienced many hardships, but since asking Christ into my life, I have experienced many: the death of my mother, two cross-country moves, and many other heart-breaking disappointments life has to offer. Through each of these trials I have experienced great peace, knowing that I have something much greater than myself and my own strength to lean on. I am a child of God, and I can do all things through Him.
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