Like so many others, I grew up in church. From a young age I knew that Jesus was the Son of God, that he died on a cross for my sins, so I would not have to, and that three days later, God raised Him from the dead. By the time I was 10, God had already seen me through my parents divorce and an abusive stepfather. I decided to ask Jesus into my heart. I confessed that I was a sinner, and that Jesus had died for those sins, and that God had raised Him from the dead three days later. I asked for forgiveness for those sins, and for a while, I was faithful.

Then teen rebellion set in. My teen years were a cycle of repenting, drawing close to God, then rebelling again. When I was 18, I met my husband, and we made a huge mistake. We chose to ignore God’s rules about sex and marriage. I became pregnant at 19. My husband and I got married, and refused to ask forgiveness. Getting married, in our eyes took care of it. October 17,1994, our son Joseph was born. He died 3 days later of heart defects. My pride turned into bitterness, and then to anger. God could have healed Joseph, but he chose not to. For years I lived that way, not trusting God with my anger or anything else.

Then God put a coworker in my path, who had recently invited Jesus into her life, but was receiving some questionable bible teaching. She would come in with something way out there, I would grab her bible and show her the truth. It created a thirst in me for more. I dusted off my bibe and began reading, just to prove her wrong at first, but the more I read the thirstier I became. After my 4 children were born I began attending church again. I found myself on my knees one day, begging God to forgive me, for everything from premarital sex to pride, and I rededicated my life to him. Life is not easy, I still face problems every day, but I know that during these rough times, He is by my side, and even carrying me when I need it.